Y From the Heart Getting to Know You…
I’m excited to welcome so many new families this year! I hope you find DCHEA families as warm and encouraging as I have since August of 1999. My first contact with a DCHEA family was with Gale years ago, before Tiffani was even born. And as God would orchestrate it, in 1998, I met Anita and Lani at the Adams Street Park on a beautiful morning. Anita’s girls, Megan and Elisa pulled Tiffani right into their play. I’d been to the park many times with Tiffani and had never seen such a natural politeness and caring by children in the playground.
I remember approaching Anita and Lani as they sat chatting and sharing some books (probably curriculum) and complimented Anita on her daughters’ politeness. I quickly found out that they home educated and were members of DCHEA. I told them that we planned on homeschooling the following year. They were so welcoming. Anita and I shared phone numbers. And since that day, I’ve found making friends and finding fellowship with godly women in DCHEA no problem at all.
Last month I wrote about God-incidents (vs. coincidence) and I’d like to share another one with you in the realm of this month’s topic: Getting to know you…
The first year that we were members of DCHEA, I focused on attending the field trips, as a means for Tiffani to start creating some friendships. To my surprise, the friendships I’d expected didn’t happen. There just didn’t seem to be enough time for children to really get to know each other at these events.
By the time Tiffani was 5 and in first grade, she still didn’t seem to have a friend in the sense that we were hoping. In her Kindergarten year, I’d focused on the field trips to find companionship for her. In this first grade year, field trips didn’t fit into our family’s schedule, so I attended the majority of the Moms’ Nights Out to feel connected to DCHEA. I loved these nights! I wasn’t quite sure what to expect that first night, but I was so blessed! The support, the encouragement, the prayerfulness and the love I feel with the women who come to share their lives is such a blessing in my life and has been since the very first one I attended.
It was January of Tiffani’s first grade year, however, and she still had not found a friend. In tears, her little heart just didn’t understand. We’d been attending every park day since her kindergarten year, and that special camaraderie just hadn’t happened. It broke my heart, because I was feeling so connected. So the next month, the day before Valentine’s Day 2000, we prayed together that the Lord would bring the right friends into her life. Friends that would be caring and loyal and love God. The very next day we attended the DCHEA Valentine’s party at the Palm Desert Park. We arrived and I silently prayed that someone would be there that would just touch Tiffani’s heart.
That prayer was answered as Megan and Elisa came running over to her, yelling, “Tiffani, Tiffani!” How blessed she has been since that day with the friendships she has made in DCHEA. These three girls met in 1998 for the first time and had occasion to see each other at a field trip here and there, but on this day in the park, two years after first meeting, God performed a miracle in their hearts. On the way home from the park that day, Tiffani sat next to me in the car just beaming her delight. “God answered my prayer!” she exclaimed.
Anita’s family, as many of you know, moved to the high desert a couple years ago, so the girls don’t see each other as often, but their hearts are still connected. As is evidenced by another God-incident that occurred a few months back. Tiffani and I had spent an entire Saturday morning searching the Internet for letter-writing pen pals – finding nothing, but email pen pals. It was so disappointing for both of us. So we prayed that the Lord, if it were His will, would help us find an organization like I belonged to when I was young, to find a letter-writing pen pal. A day or two later, Tiffani and I were heading out to do some errands and I asked her to hop out and get the mail as we got to the end of the driveway. She sorted through the mail and was excited to find a letter from Megan. She opened it and read it aloud to me. She got to the P.S. and gasped. “Mommy! Listen to this! ‘P.S. Do you want to be my pen pal?’” Were we laughing, we were crying! God had done it again…another prayer answered.
Whether you’re brand new or have been a member for years, here are some tips for getting to know others in DCHEA:
1. Pray, Pray, Pray. Ask the Lord to lay a couple families on your heart. Maybe He already has…
2. Attend the MNO’s whenever possible. Feel uncomfortable just “showing up” and not knowing anyone? Tell the hostess mom when you RSVP that it’s your first time and she will be sure to introduce you to everyone.
3. Go through the DCHEA directory. I did this! I found all the families that were in my area and had a daughter around the same age as Tiffani and started making phone calls like this: “Hi, my name’s Traci, I’m a member of Desert CHEA. I noticed in the directory that we have daughters the same age. Would you like to plan a day at the park, so we can get to know each other?” You know? I was never turned down. In fact, the moms I called seemed happy that I did. Whether the park day is a “match” or not, really doesn’t matter. Even if you never plan another play day with a particular family (due to schedules or interests), they are still friendly faces in the crowd at larger functions and throughout the community.
4. Lastly, don’t beat yourself up if your children don’t have friends right away. Or if you have a year that you feel out of touch. Don’t let Satan cloud your emotions if your schedule or finances don’t allow for much outside activity during certain years. Don’t allow yourself to feel isolated if you can’t attend any of the functions. Ask the Lord to place a godly woman in your life that you can call once a week. I’ve been so blessed these past years, when moms call just to chat or ask me to pray for them.
Any of our veteran homeschool moms will tell you that there are different “seasons” in this home education journey. Sometimes we’re crying, sometimes we’re rejoicing. Sometimes we’re active and other times we’re not. And by the way, if you pray and the Lord doesn’t give you another mom to connect with right away…enjoy His company even more. There’s no doubt He’s preparing you for those you will meet in the future.
Looking forward to seeing all of you this year! Prayerfully, Traci J