Y From the Heart It’s a Process
Lord Jesus, help me to do only those things You would have me do. Even if what I’m doing is a right and godly use of my time, if it’s not authored by You, please let me know….
There are times in my married life, where I’m pretty much “allowed” to do as I please. I have no special projects which to attend. This time in my life however, is one of those times where I feel like I’m needed “overtime.” It’s a time when I ask the Lord to help my desires become those of my husband’s, so that we continue to function as “one”.
Most women in our society think it is a sign of weakness, for a wife to put aside her ambitions and follow her husband’s. Women of my generation were taught to be in control of themselves, and not be too dependent on their husbands, should something happen to them. I remember when I worked with Jeff in our first office, before Tiffani was born. I enjoyed my days 99% of the time. But there were times at night where my mind would wander to my dreams (of teaching, writing & children) and a sadness would come over me and sometimes an anger that I was being kept from doing what I wanted to do. What about me? I’d think.
Jeff was aware when those feelings would occur. We’d talk about them and I believe that he was genuinely sorry that both our dreams separately could not be fulfilled at once. Even then my heart knew that his dreams were truly “our” dreams. But sometimes I’d throw my little pity party in spite of that understanding.
We always want what we don’t have, if even for just a short while. If we have a small family we long for a large family. If we have a large family we long for the small one. If we’re quite involved in church activities we long to pull out for a while. If we’re “church searching” we’re longing to find a home. I’ve discovered there is value in any circumstance we’re in if we allow the Lord to author our days. Yet I long to have the Apostle Paul’s heart ~ that I could be always content in my every circumstance. It’s a process. I’m getting better.
I have learned from my past experiences that I can be content the more I focus on what the Lord would have me do, rather than on doing “good things” ~ there’s so much good we can do. But only so much time for doing what the Lord is asking of us, which is so much more important.
I have just come to an understanding (again! ~ how many times Lord?) that my husband comes before my daughter. My service to him and our new ventures need a great deal of my attention at this time. I’m being called to attend seminars and conferences with him, to create forms and help with computer-related issues. As my help was needed more and more over the past few months, my first thought was What about Tiffani? The words from my mouth should have been, “Yes, Jeff.” If we had not yet been blessed with Tiffani, there is no doubt that would have been my first reply.
The Lord and Jeff continually remind me that Tiffani is in good hands while we’re away. We are blessed. Although Tiffani is quick to say that she misses us, she also has a great time with other members of our family.
I love the parallel of what I’m learning ~ that my “Yes, Jeff” is really a “Yes, Lord.” I am living the “line of authority” for my daughter to see, so hopefully she will be better than I am when she is married and has her family one day. Prayerfully, she can see some good in my example and avoid my mistakes.
As I willingly submit more and more to my husband, I see the fruit. I almost feel it more than I can see it. I can’t say that I have it all figured out though. It’s a process and with the Lord’s strength, I can confidently do everything to which He calls me.
Lord, I pray for every mom in DCHEA, as she learns more about submitting to her husband. To willingly give up our rights and place ourselves under the full authority of our husbands is no small task. Help us to do so, knowing that we will see the blessing of Your plan in our family’s lives. It is fairly easy to follow Jeff’s leading, but I understand that some wives do not have such pleasure in their own marriages. Father, I ask you to remind us all that a “Yes” to our husbands is a “Yes” to You. Thank You for Your strength, we know that we do not do this alone. I humbly bring this request to You, in Your Son Jesus’ precious Name. Amen
Bless your day! Traci J