Y From the Heart True Love
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes and always perseveres.
Love never fails…faith, hope and love.
But the greatest of these is love.
~ 1 Corinthians 14:4-8, 13
Love is just as much what we don’t say and do, as what we do say and do. If we’re patient and kind, not easily angered and keep no record of wrongs, then harsh unloving words will not slip from our lips. If we’re not rude or self-seeking, and we strive to put others’ needs before our own, then we will not do selfish things to only gratify ourselves.
My final year as DCHEA’s leader is coming to a close and I find I have learned something very valuable. It has been played in full view of me for almost three years. We may all be Christian families and we may all be home schooling, but we do not all agree perfectly about what we believe. We have signed the same statement of faith -- the salvation issues are the same. However, as our flesh would have it, sometimes we create “standards” in our lives that we believe others should also be living up to.
The problem comes when we use our standards, no matter how well intentioned, to “size-up” others around us. Many of us are being “poked” by the Spirit in this area. One mom has even humbly admitted to going through “spiritual surgery” in the area of judgment.
Matthew 7:1-2 says: “Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.” We must be careful not to be judgmental beyond a God-given level of discernment and cross the line from being “discerning” to being “critical in spirit.” James 3:8 says that “no man can tame a tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison.” We need to be so careful how we approach each other. Are we expecting others to live up to our standards or God’s? We may feel the Lord convicting us on a certain issue in our lives, but this does not mean that others are being convicted on the same issue at the same time. Standards are great when we feel Spirit-led to create them for our family. Our family is within our authority. Other families are not within our authority.
After sharing Bible study topics with a few friends recently, I have been encouraged to share my recent study of the book of Job. This Holy Spirit-led study revealed something else to me that my previous readings of the book had not. I understood from before that Job’s friends, although saying portions of truth were wrong in accusing Job of being under judgment due to sin. This time as I meditated on the Word and journaled, I came to understand something a bit deeper. Regardless of what I “see” about someone, I really have no idea how the Lord is working inside a person’s heart. So, unless I am sought to pray or to counsel with someone, I am better off keeping my words and thoughts to myself.
This is not to say that the Lord will not reveal certain things to us. But we need to be careful with what we do with this information. As for me I have been directed to pray first and not think that I need to intervene verbally. Many times when we pray, we are given an increased sense of love for a person that we could not have otherwise. We change. We are molded. We grow.
If we’re walking “in step with the Spirit” as the Bible says, we should be building each other up and helping each other. We should not be nit-picking about bad habits of the flesh, holiday celebrations, child disciplinary actions or our own personal standards. Each of us needs to know what we believe and why we believe it. If we’re confronted with something, we need to say, “Thank you for pointing that out.” Then take it to the Lord. Ask Him if it’s true that you need to change. You may be convicted to change, or it may be a non-issue. But we cannot allow the enemy to place a barrier between us and any of our sisters.
I am thankful for DCHEA and the safe place it provides for us. I am thankful for the Moms’ Nights Out and other opportunities for Christian women to be open and humble about their lives. In Jesus’ name, I pray against any occurrences of a critical spirit. And it is in His name, I pray for a spirit of love and encouragement to continually permeate our group.
Many blessings to you and your family. Lovingly, Traci J